A Magnificent Morning

I went for a 80km ride this morning, alongside PPA's Cape Cobra race, and it was so good to be on the road again, but tough! It was a beautiful morning, no breeze to begin with, crystal clear air, stunning scenery, some baboons and a dead porcupine (who would have thought you could see such 'wildlife' on a Cape Town ride!).

I've just finished reading a guide to the Tour de France and one of the authors commented that before you can see or hear the peloton, you can often smell them. I tested that theory today - and it's true. They smell, these men who race past me averaging 35 - 40km/hr!! It was refreshing every now and again to catch a whiff of deodorant!

I know some of you have entered the Argus for the first time this year, and some of you further afield are riding races mid year, so want a female cycling tip? Put a few drops of Arnica massage oil in the seat of your riding shorts and you will not suffer. Trust me - today I forgot, and 80km is a loooong way!

As I was cycling today, I rode past Ocean View and Masiphumele (a colored and black township respectively). And as I strained up a hill, there were four colored kids sitting on a rock, watching the action. And my heart sank. There were no adults in sight, and these kids were young - probably all about Aragorn and Belle's age (4 and 2). God used this brief  moment to challenge me for the rest of my ride....

 We are so very privileged in ways we aren't even aware of. I know a couple of ladies from Ocean View and the one repetitive comment they make to me is how differently white and colored people parent. It's all about life skills isn't it? The majority of these families are trapped in cycles of violence and abuse. Parenting is about what is modeled to us, what we see from our parents and what we pick up along the way.  No one I know would let their young kids sit on the side of a major road at 0700 in the morning, unsupervised. But for these kids? It's a way of life. And it struck me that all of this also tracks back to the destruction of community - we should be able to learn each other's strengths - but because of Africa''s history, and more specifically South Africa's, it's all been lost.

And God spoke to me about what I write about working mothers - what choice do many of these township women have? I mean really? Some mothers have to work because their money is squandered before it even reaches the grocery cupboards. Others may work to escape oppressive home situations.

I do believe parenting is on God's heart. I do believe the world is intent on brow beating women into believing motherhood has no worth. I believe it is a forgotten calling in today's world, tossed to the side in exchange for luxuries...but there is also a sad reality in poor communities. I'm not sure my stance has necessarily changed for us privileged folk, but I also felt God nudging my heart - who am I to judge? There is an accountability to God - not me.

But, I will continue to encourage and exhort mothers - because it really is beyond this world, it is the most important, this job we are doing.

Food for thought huh?

Our Chosen Choices

I've written and rewritten this post a number of times, altering things after I've written it as God has reminded me so bear with me, there might be more changes in days to come!

Over the last little while, I have spent a lot of time thinking about two things:

1. the choices we make in our lives
2. our lives are a direct result of our choices.

Which when you get down to it, is quite sobering. I know that sometimes circumstances sweep in and challenge us and alter our paths. But even in that, there is  a choice to be made - a choice as to how we will respond to those circumstances - we will either find a way to master those circumstances, or they will master us.

And our choices?

The one that has been bemusing me over the last few weeks is the parenting one.

“The formative period for building character for eternity is in the nursery. The mother is queen of that realm and sways a scepter more potent than that of kings or priests.” ~Author Unknown

Again, I really can't do better justice to this topic than this post, so please go over and read it and then return...(and know that I know some of you are single moms, divorced moms, moms who have no choice but to be working....this is not directed at you. But if you are choosing to work: do some maths - is it by necessity or desire? is it to maintain a lifestyle or put bread on the table?  just examine it for a moment will you?)

The part I want to highlight is this parenting thing, the character forming part of it: it is a constant, never ending call, even when we don't feel like it. It is our job, our duty to teach our children  - and for those of us who believe in God, I think it stretches further to expecting to see the Holy Spirit lead them. No, I don't believe we can or should be controlling our children, but I do believe they need to be led, to be taught, to be trained, to be shown. Today I caught sight of this title of a book that made me smile  - it was "Loving the Early Years, Motherhood in the trenches" - and i just loved the by-line! Mothering in these early years is really hard (and it may remain just as hard as kids grow I don't know, watch this space as I grow!). 

It's about constantly reminding our children time and time again not to call each other names. It's about exhorting them to use words that honor one another, or words that are meaningful instead of using silliness and toilet humor (something my boys find exasperatingly funny - so I'm in the throes here!). To cop out of this because you're tired of hearing your own voice, or because your kids never listen to you points to something even deeper. It is right to bring up our children in a way that teaches them to listen, teaches them to obey, teaches them to heed what is said - if not now, then what when adolescence hits?

 I am becoming convinced that this is indeed one of the most important aspects of motherhood. 

These choices we are making: choosing to speak or to be silent. Choosing to work or to stay at home. Choosing to take career A or B, choosing to trust God or trust ourselves -  whatever they may be - 

Are we sure that they count? 

That they are the right ones?

Creeping towards Closure

I'm so sorry that it appears I have slipped off into the nether regions these last few days...or weeks...how long has it been?! Despite having thought I got publish posts whilst being preoccupied, I have failed miserably! I always have so much to say, but I honestly have had no head space to tolerate anything more in my mind – I am limping towards the finish line. The good news is, there is one page left that requires my creative genius.

The bad news is that it is unlikely I am going to get this page in the next few days – so although I am so close, there is no hope of me actually laying down my pen (so to speak). And I LOATHE that. I hate no begin able to finish, to wrap things up. The bad news continues. I have drawn a line in the sand and refused to meet with the publishers ( I realize I am being somewhat childish, but really, if your constant excuse is that you are too buys to work on my project, then when push comes to shove, I'm going to dig my heels in and do the same). Yip, it goes against everything within my character, but I cannot keep on delaying this process. We're already three weeks over the submission date, and I'm the only one that seems concerned about that. So i'm handing it over to the Bokkie Licensing Agents, and this awesome Jungle Beat brand manager – I am so thankful for Miss N.!

I also spent the last week studying...yip. I tutor a 16 year old homeschool student geography, and this week he asked me to teach him Atmosphere and Weather. Now, that's no small unit in the AS Level CIE syllabus, and it was slightly compounded by the fact that I have NEVER enjoyed the topic, and it was never taught to me in a way that ever made sense. And now, here's a student who needs me to make it make sense to him....o boy. So needless to say there were many late nights studying global energy budgets and local energy models etc. Again, good and bad news. The good news is that I made it make sense (and even had a few revelations about things I had never grasped myself – temperature inversions are so sweet!)...but the bad news is that as a result he wants me to teach another module in this topic next week! Sigh....

So...that means I may be quiet for just a little longer. I'm missing writing, and the clarity it gives me and the freedom in my mind. I shall return soon....rest assured.

Rugby Rules...

...my head at the moment. It's true...not the Tour de France. Imagine! O Woe! I am having to put my passion on hold, watch short highlights after a stage not the live broadcasts all because I am trying my damnedest to finish a rugby annual I am writing! (it's SA Rugby's first annual starring the new mascot, Bokkie) Now truth be told, it is partly my fault....I took a break over the holidays to be with my kids, then they were sick, then the babysitters were ill...and now I am paying for all that time off! So, nose to the grindstone I must chip away at 64 pages of rugby facts, figures, trivia - all sorts!

My saving grace is that in spite of all my moaning I really do love what I do....and I am at least co-authoring it with a fantastic man at SARU who is really fun to work with. So....8 days to the deadline...things may get a little quiet around here!

Black & White or Grey – Part III

Some more burning examples on my mind:

Working mothers – I never had a problem with this, until I had kids. Then I thought mothers that returned to work were giving up the best years of their children's lives (please note I am not talking about single mothers at all here. I'm talking about two income families) and to their children's disadvantage. And then along came 2009, and a dark period where God gave me an opportunity to work part time conceptualizing children's activity books which I absolutely loved (there was no money in it in 2009 in case you're wondering!) – and I cannot even begin to tell you how those few months have changed my life. They allowed me the head space to appreciate my children afresh, they renewed a desire within me to be at home full time and to be a mother. Right? Wrong? All I know is had I not been outside my home for a season, I would have seriously blown it with my children.

(and again can I qualify? I still don't think it can be within God's plan for a mother to drop off her child at 7 and pick them up at 5...i think there's a lot to be said for choices in lifestyle and frugal living on a one income budget. Parents are designed to be the primary care givers. But can I really judge? Is it my place? More questions than answers...I'm learning to walk in grace and stop judging too!)

Contraception – never thought two ways about this – got married, started taking the pill happily, and I still remember being horrified when someone suggested to me that I pray about when God wanted me to have kids. I remember it as clear as night and day – the horror that I should hand over the control of my body to God! Surely not! I had a plan, which involved being married for 5 years before the pattter of little feet! But here I am, many years later, three children down the line, and I am against many forms of birth control, simply because what isn't advertised is the fact that so many of them are abortifacents. I read a couple of articles, and was so convicted in my spirit that I don't think I can return to that path ever again. (read this for starters)

Right? Wrong? All I know is this. When I got married, I vowed I never wanted to have children ever. And then slowly, surely, God massaged my heart until he told me that I would have a son and to call him King Arthur (a.k.a!). I have never looked back. That God knew me so well, that he promised me a child and gave him his name – I know that my children were chosen and purposed. What for me is even more beautiful, is that God gave me a princess (another big hurdle – I had told God I never wanted girls because of my past)... in August of 2008, I gave birth to a princess and sobbed for hours, so overjoyed and thankful that God had given me a girl.

I know, soberly, that had I had children earlier than I did, I would not have had the grace, nor the heart to parent them well. So … his gracious timing? His gracious seasons?