Saturday, June 26, 2010

Black & White or Grey – Part III

Some more burning examples on my mind:

Working mothers – I never had a problem with this, until I had kids. Then I thought mothers that returned to work were giving up the best years of their children's lives (please note I am not talking about single mothers at all here. I'm talking about two income families) and to their children's disadvantage. And then along came 2009, and a dark period where God gave me an opportunity to work part time conceptualizing children's activity books which I absolutely loved (there was no money in it in 2009 in case you're wondering!) – and I cannot even begin to tell you how those few months have changed my life. They allowed me the head space to appreciate my children afresh, they renewed a desire within me to be at home full time and to be a mother. Right? Wrong? All I know is had I not been outside my home for a season, I would have seriously blown it with my children.

(and again can I qualify? I still don't think it can be within God's plan for a mother to drop off her child at 7 and pick them up at 5...i think there's a lot to be said for choices in lifestyle and frugal living on a one income budget. Parents are designed to be the primary care givers. But can I really judge? Is it my place? More questions than answers...I'm learning to walk in grace and stop judging too!)

Contraception – never thought two ways about this – got married, started taking the pill happily, and I still remember being horrified when someone suggested to me that I pray about when God wanted me to have kids. I remember it as clear as night and day – the horror that I should hand over the control of my body to God! Surely not! I had a plan, which involved being married for 5 years before the pattter of little feet! But here I am, many years later, three children down the line, and I am against many forms of birth control, simply because what isn't advertised is the fact that so many of them are abortifacents. I read a couple of articles, and was so convicted in my spirit that I don't think I can return to that path ever again. (read this for starters)

Right? Wrong? All I know is this. When I got married, I vowed I never wanted to have children ever. And then slowly, surely, God massaged my heart until he told me that I would have a son and to call him King Arthur (a.k.a!). I have never looked back. That God knew me so well, that he promised me a child and gave him his name – I know that my children were chosen and purposed. What for me is even more beautiful, is that God gave me a princess (another big hurdle – I had told God I never wanted girls because of my past)... in August of 2008, I gave birth to a princess and sobbed for hours, so overjoyed and thankful that God had given me a girl.

I know, soberly, that had I had children earlier than I did, I would not have had the grace, nor the heart to parent them well. So … his gracious timing? His gracious seasons?

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