Diet Deviations

I am still profoundly impacted by what happens to us when we become parents - the choices we make; how much we change; how much we are willing to change in order to create the best possible environments for our children. Each day, endless choices present themselves to us.

For some of us, we make the choice to drive in traffic two hours each day to take our children to what we believe to be the best possible schools; for some, it's the choice to sacrificing a part of ourselves to teach our children at home; for some, it's the choice to change our diet drastically to give our children the best possible odds in coping with life. And I'm amazed at the unselfishness of it all. As parents, we give up independence, we give up selfishness, without us really even realizing it.

To those of you making these sacrifices, however big or small, know that I salute you.

I applaud you.

My Comfortable Cocoon

I've just got out of a relaxing bath into which I collapsed after a seemingly endless day. I woke up at 0430 this morning, (might I add by choice? go figure!), to attend a 0515 spinning class with an instructor I really enjoy. However, the cost today is making me seriously question my sanity in choosing to do something like that! And he didn't even play good music - so picture me with head thumping music as the sun was coming up - not my cup of tea! I have struggled to stay awake throughout the day, wanting to choose self over motherhood often. The boys were very understanding when I attempted to grab some rest midday, but Belle is still a little young to understand that mom's closed door means "leave me alone", not "yell even louder"! So, methinks I shall relook at my training schedule and make something else work!

But whilst in the bath, I was reflecting on what God appears to be drawing my attention to, yet again. I feel like he is peeling off layers and layers of misconceptions about deeply entrenched ideas that aren't full of Light. And I realize that this is something he loves to do - to set us free. I realize because of His nature there is always a hope, a redemption available for me in the end that promises to be far more beautiful than where I am presently at, but by george (whoever he may be!) it is uncomfortable. So even though I am not enjoying this, I look forward to the end....

Our Chosen Choices

I've written and rewritten this post a number of times, altering things after I've written it as God has reminded me so bear with me, there might be more changes in days to come!

Over the last little while, I have spent a lot of time thinking about two things:

1. the choices we make in our lives
2. our lives are a direct result of our choices.

Which when you get down to it, is quite sobering. I know that sometimes circumstances sweep in and challenge us and alter our paths. But even in that, there is  a choice to be made - a choice as to how we will respond to those circumstances - we will either find a way to master those circumstances, or they will master us.

And our choices?

The one that has been bemusing me over the last few weeks is the parenting one.

“The formative period for building character for eternity is in the nursery. The mother is queen of that realm and sways a scepter more potent than that of kings or priests.” ~Author Unknown

Again, I really can't do better justice to this topic than this post, so please go over and read it and then return...(and know that I know some of you are single moms, divorced moms, moms who have no choice but to be working....this is not directed at you. But if you are choosing to work: do some maths - is it by necessity or desire? is it to maintain a lifestyle or put bread on the table?  just examine it for a moment will you?)

The part I want to highlight is this parenting thing, the character forming part of it: it is a constant, never ending call, even when we don't feel like it. It is our job, our duty to teach our children  - and for those of us who believe in God, I think it stretches further to expecting to see the Holy Spirit lead them. No, I don't believe we can or should be controlling our children, but I do believe they need to be led, to be taught, to be trained, to be shown. Today I caught sight of this title of a book that made me smile  - it was "Loving the Early Years, Motherhood in the trenches" - and i just loved the by-line! Mothering in these early years is really hard (and it may remain just as hard as kids grow I don't know, watch this space as I grow!). 

It's about constantly reminding our children time and time again not to call each other names. It's about exhorting them to use words that honor one another, or words that are meaningful instead of using silliness and toilet humor (something my boys find exasperatingly funny - so I'm in the throes here!). To cop out of this because you're tired of hearing your own voice, or because your kids never listen to you points to something even deeper. It is right to bring up our children in a way that teaches them to listen, teaches them to obey, teaches them to heed what is said - if not now, then what when adolescence hits?

 I am becoming convinced that this is indeed one of the most important aspects of motherhood. 

These choices we are making: choosing to speak or to be silent. Choosing to work or to stay at home. Choosing to take career A or B, choosing to trust God or trust ourselves -  whatever they may be - 

Are we sure that they count? 

That they are the right ones?

Sizzling Summer

Temperatures in the Western Cape are estimated to hit 45 C today - can you believe it?! I am in NO way complaining, but sure would like a pool! However, in the early and late parts of the day, we can be found at the beach - am loving this one in particular this season - no crowds, and a wonderful lagoon. Normally it's icy waters deter us, but even I swam today!

New Year's Day - late afternoon

having such fun!

munchies

chilly!

wonderful boy

Today, morning time, cousins

Yearnings for the Year

So...the new year has begun, and is well on its way. And today is the first time in weeks that I am stopping. Just grinding to a halt. We've been so busy the last few weeks, out every day, doing little things - whether it be people, outings or errands. And with Braveheart going back to work, it's an opportunity just to STOP. And BE. And so we are.

As I write this the kids are eating sweets - yes, it's true. At this point I am keen to get the Christmas sweets over and done with! I love the peace and the calm that is emanating from my home today (somewhat intermittently I might add, there are still the odd squabbles, but I mean overall!). I love having my kids around me, and having time to be and speak into their lives without having to 'do' anything. I have to make a conscious effort not to create things for them to do today - it does not come naturally to me...

2011. Another year. Another start.

Me? These are some of my yearnings for the year: (Some semantics - I dislike "resolutions"...that implies something I have to work at to change..."yearnings", well that implies a desire, a longing, something God and I can do together - in his time, with his prompting....)

I long to sort out my food dilemma. I'll digress to bring you up to speed. I have come to loathe food - not when it is served to me, or made by someone else, but when I have to prepare it - cook it, make it..anything with food that requires my involvement leaves me sighing deeply. If I'm really honest, I think it comes down to pure laziness (oh the effort) and selfishness (I love being served, but not necessarily serving). And here's the rub - an a mother, and a wife, those really are two qualities that are not synonymous with those callings. If I want to have a home that is warm and  happy something has to give!

So to this end I have made a few adjustments again. I have created a breakfast, lunch and diner plan. This has streamlined  my shopping, and helps me mentally get a handle on what is required.  And as I do the shopping and the meal planning I am the only one really responsible for what my family eats - and I long to incorporate more of what I believe constitutes healthy eating, and to eat the way I want to - which largely falls by the wayside as to cook two meals etc just isn't cutting it for me. I also loathe budgeting and making money stretch....something I need to master. Any tips anyone? :)

But here's the thing. We've talked about it as a family, and I'm impressed with my kids - they're on board. I've cut out sugar cereals (thanks for the idea Nikki)  except for one day a week, and they have to eat some things they don't like. And when I sit down with a bowl of fruit, or some salad, they inevitably want what I am eating. Kids will follow our example, pure and simple - so the question is, what kinds of example are we setting them?      

I yearn for family time. Now we spend a lot of time as a family, but I still yearn for more. It's a priority for me.  More memories. A deeper sense of family, and what it means to be parents and be speaking into our lives. And to this end, again, it falls on me - it's my bent. I have blocked out the year, looked at all the public holidays and have an idea of when we'd like to try and get away again as a family. Now I need to find affordable options. I even feel that my time cycling is drawing to a close - as the Argus draws closer, it's going to require 3-4 solid rides of training a week, each 3-5 hours, and that's just such a huge chunk of time over the next two months. Time I'm not really that willing to hand over any more. I'm curious as to what will replace it though...interesting huh?

I long to see my children thrive in their new seasons this year. King Arthur will be at home with me, Aragorn for the first time will start a school on his own, not under King Arthur's shadow, and I really sense he will become his own person. And Belle also starts a little school. Now whilst I want them all home with me, I also know that this is right for each of them. Aragorn caves in to King Arthur too often. I sense God will use this to build him into his own confident self. And Belle will be able to be whoever she really is! And King Arthur will soak up this one on one time. This is also a new season for me - homeschooling. The teacher in me has unpacked all the stuff, put it on the shelves, filed it...and I have the same butterflies in my stomach I had when I taught for the first time! I'm determined to embrace this in a relaxed way - watch this space!

And being a wife. This kind of dove tails into the others. I want to focus more than anything on being the wife I've always wanted to be. A wife that sometimes makes her husband's favorite meal for dinner instead of always making the kids favorite ones, or feeding him the quickest easiest meal (like scrambled eggs!). I want to pack his lunch with as much effort as I do the kids - thinking about the nature of his day and whether it involves touch rugby, or gym etc. I want to think of creative ways to spend time with him, with and without the kids, not always putting the kids first.....all these things, that seemed so natural pre-kids, so natural when we were dating...are so foreign to me now.

I have some steep learning curves ahead of me!